Where Do You See Yourself in 5 Years?

My most dreaded question.

Still, lots of recruiters ask this. And for good reason, I guess.  

I imagine the reactions I would have received had I answered honestly. Personally, I’m not a very good liar. Not for virtuous reasons. Mostly because I’m just terrible at acting. My face, my stammer and shifty eyes are a dead giveaway – I can’t help it.

Lucky for me and other fickle personalities like myself, there are plenty of sites that give helpful tips on how to answer this question.

But today, I want to unleash answers that have been since bottled up in me after having gone through a dozen interviews and the same question.

So, here’s me answering Where Do I See Myself in 5 Years x5 (times 5).

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: Well, this job is more of a stepping stone for me. I really want to absorb all that I can so I can take my experience elsewhere. I don’t see myself being in a managerial position for a company that makes money off of defective wholesale products from China and sells them at inflated prices with a no refund policy.

The Comeback HBO tv hbo what awkward GIF

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: Well, I applied to this 3-week contract job because I didn’t see myself being here in another 5 years. I thought it’d be nice to mix things up with a short-term project.
 tv rhoa duh kenya moore obviously GIF

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: I’d really like to be somewhere that offers a steady pay, where I can do the job comfortably, be good at it, then return home at a decent hour to take up a hobby that might be more enjoyable to me than my actual job, AND have zero qualms about wasting time.  

20th Century Fox Home Entertainment office office space fridays mike judge GIF

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: Is it safe for me to assume my career should be involved in this answer? Right. Hmmm..

 reaction emma stone easy a uhh i dont think so GIF

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: Idk. I have a habit of changing my interests…one day I think I’ll make money selling $5 paintings off of amazon, the next, I think I’ll invest in lessons to become a yoga instructor. But then I remember my poor posture. Most days I have a passion for writing so I think yeah, I’ll stick to that.
 dancing free kristen wiig hippie GIF

I know what you’re thinking. Typical #millennial. I admit, looking for the perfect job that only accommodates me would be too idealistic. But would it be too much to ask interviewers to stop asking this question… I’m just saying In the next 5 years I hope my life doesn’t revolve around my job.

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